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  • Writer's pictureFred

In Defense of WalMart Thieves

When WalMart opened, simple concept:

Great Selection - Great Prices


Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?

Pay our employees LESS than our competitors.


Then Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?

Squeeze our vendors.


Then Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?

Don't use security guards that we'd have to pay, strain local police departments for free.


Then Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?Streamline our processes, lay off white collar workers.


Then Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?

Prevent our employees from unionizing.


Then Mr. WalMart questioned: How do we keep our prices lower than our competitors?

Replace employees with self-checkouts.

Then Mr. WalMart wondered? Why do thieves walk in and grab merchandise and then just walk out?



WalMart Thief: Technically free is LESS than cheap.



Mr. WalMart: How can people do the wrong thing just for a cheaper option?



 

Yes, I know Sam Walton died 30 years ago. After Monday's crushing loss, I'm thinking of doing less coherent stories and just stringing random thoughts together, like a younger version of Andy Rooney with less-crazy eyebrows.


Yes, I know Andy Rooney is dead too.


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