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The NBA's Jarrett Allen Problem

Updated: May 23

You don't know Jarrett Allen? I barely know Jarrett Allen.


He's a graduate of the University of Texas.

He's a member of the Cleveland Cavaliers.

He can't (won't) play through bruised ribs.


I could look up Jarrett Allen's story on the internet? It's a moot point, I'm not an NBA expert.


You know the 5 Trivial Things that I am an expert on?


  1. Guillain-Barre Syndrome

  2. Indoor Soccer

  3. Libertarian Presidential Candidates

  4. Broken Ribs

  5. The Punk Band Alice Donut


You see #4? I've had broken ribs, a minimum, of a half dozen times. Bruised ribs? A ton. Do bruised ribs hurt? Of course they do. Do they hurt as bad as broken ribs? Sometimes, yes.


But the 6 times I had BROKEN ribs, you know how many days of work I missed? 3. You're yelling at me that I'm not an NBA player?


Listen, the reason you take it easy after broken ribs is, besides them hurting, is that you don't want them to break worse or puncture a lung. If they're bruised ribs, bruised ribs don't turn into broken ribs. With bruised ribs, the issue becomes pain management.


In the Eastern Conference Semifinals, Jarrett Allen didn't play the last 3 games of the series as the Cavs lost to the Boston Celtics. His official injury report listed Bruised Ribs.


Rumors were he didn't want to take "the shot."

Rumors were he was in "too much pain."

Rumors were he wanted to be traded.

Rumors were that the Cavs couldn't afford Allen if they re-signed Donovan Mitchell.

Rumors were that Allen fell out of favor with Coach Bickerstaff.


The NBA sells Drama, it does not sell basketball. The Celtics easily beat the Cavs in Game 5 of that series to finish them off with 3 of the Cavs' 5 best players sitting on the bench.


Today, Cleveland Sports Talk is reporting significant trade interest for Jarrett Allen. Their narrative is that Allen doesn't want to be in Cleveland and that's part of the reason he didn't play the end of the Celtic's Series.


The comments section for the Cleveland Sports Talk story was split 50/50 between "keep Allen" and "dude is soft."


Since LeBron James joined the league, having the best player in the NBA continually churn the rumor mill has been a successful marketing ploy.


But as James nears 40, can average NBA'ers, like Jarrett Allen, use the same tactics and garner the league the same successes?




We'll see....


(But I don't think so.)



 

Editor's Note: Fixed title 5 hours late. See, I told you I barely know Jarrett Allen.




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