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On the Cover of the Rolling Stone... -or- Why Corporations Suck

January 2, 2019

 

Back in 1972 Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show sang one of the most Iconic rock songs in Rock History, The Cover of Rolling Stone. Well, the song is back in the news because its singer, Ray Sawyer, passed away yesterday. I assume the story is trending due to irony, because let's review the lyrics of the beginning of the song....

 

Well, we're big rock singers
We got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go (that sounds like us)
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
At ten-thousand dollars a show (right)
We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that'll gitcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone....

 

Today, let's Review the cover of the Rolling Stone.

The Latest:

Culture News

Louis C.K. = Bad 

BOS Response: Wow. 180 degree difference than the spirit of Rolling Stone. Remember when edgy, anti-establishment comedians were good?

 

Live Reviews

Lady Gaga = Awesome

BOS Response: 32 year old Lady Gaga makes Vegas debut? That's nice. It's not 37 year old Elvis making his Vegas debut.

 

TV News

Pete Davidson = Commentator 

BOS Response: I want to give Pete Davidson the benefit of the doubt, so I'm going to download his comedy album and check that out. Wait? No comedy album? How did SNL hire him? Oh, he was on MTV reality shows? Half his biography is that he dated Arianna Grande? I'm trying to jog my memory, which current cast members have had iconic comedy moments onSNL?

Beck Bennett? Yes

Aidy Bryant? Yes

Michael Che? Yes 

Leslie Jones? Um, pass

Colin Jost? No

Kate McKinnon? Yes, yes, yes.

Alex Moffat? Yes

Kyle Mooney? Yes.

Cecily Strong? Yes

Kenan Thompson? Yes, yes, yes.

Melissa Villaseñor? No.

 

So why does Rolling Stone care about what the, arguably, LEAST talented SNL member has to say? Oh yeah, I forgot, the Arianna Grande thing.

 

TV Features:

Taylor Swift

BOS Response: Let's be gracious and simply say - Not rock and roll.

 

Culture Pictures:

Cardi B and Offset

BOS Response: Not rock and roll.

Oh, there's 55 pictures?

Not rock, 

MNGT? Okay.

not rock,

not rock,

not rock,

not rock,

not rock,

Jack White. Finally, thank you.

Kept clicking....

23, 24,

Jaden Smith.

Wait, what? He's an actor.

After doing some investigation, I found out he's multi-dimensional. Smith's a rapper, too?

Of course he is.

 

Music Features:

Travis Scott

BOS Response: Again, not rock and roll.

 

Trending:

1. Ray Sawyer Dead

2. Ray Sawyer Dead

3. Trump Wall

4. White House in Chaos

5. Taylor Swift

 

BOS Response:

Sawyer's own words

 I ain't kiddin', we would make a beautiful cover
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone
(talking) Fresh shot, right up front, man
I can see it now, we'll be up in the front
Smilin, man
Ah, beautiful.

 

Even in death Sawyer wasn't on the cover, it was Taylor Swift.

Let's revisit Sawyer's historic cover.

I was asked when I did my first draft. "I don't get why corporations suck."

 

Okay. Rolling Stone Magazine is owned by Penske Media Corp. They couldn't even acknowledge one of the reasons that Rolling Stone Magazine is a cultural phenomenon....

 

Forget it. I'm done connecting dots for the night.

 

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