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NBA Soap Opera Continued

December 1, 2019

This past week, coward Kyrie Irving was "injured" and couldn't go back to Boston to face the wrath of the fans. So instead the fans booed the Nets, their support staff, and chanted "Kyrie Sucks," even though Irving himself stayed out of the state. Then Kyrie got brave on Instagram, making him the equivalent of a low level Blogger.

Irving prattled on and on, so I cut off his Instagram post. Then I remembered, this past June I made some predictions about NBA Free Agency, Kyrie Irving included:

 

Let's see how those turned out. (Predictions in italics.)

 

So let's make some more predictions for next year, give the people what they want.

Where will these Free Agents be Next Year?

Kevin Durant: Brooklyn Nets

Why? Because Durant wants to build his own legacy. If it was just about winning, he'd stay in Oakland, (oops, I mean San Francisco,) or go back to Oklahoma City.

 

Destination: Brooklyn Nets

Basketball Record: 10-9

Which is a little deceptive, since Durant is out for the year. Almost all of the Warriors' stars are gone or injured, also. How did I guess right? Durant and Irving to Brooklyn made no sense basketball-wise, but basketball people kept whispering that Durant and Irving were a package deal and Brooklyn was a perfect market to build their brand. If you re-read the beginning of the Instagram post from that perspective, you realize Irving really doesn't get it.

 

Kawhi Leonard: Toronto Raptors

Why? I think Leonard may sign a 1-year deal and do free agency ALL OVER AGAIN!

 

Destination: L. A. Clippers

Basketball Record: 14-6

Come to find out Kawhi Leonard was a silent Genius who was also able to get Paul George to the Clippers.

 

Jimmy Butler: Philadelphia 76'ers

Why? This is the one I'm least sure of. If I waited a day, I'd probably answer something different.

 

Destination: Miami Heat

Basketball Record: 13-5

A good decision? I guess?

 

Kyrie Irving: Brooklyn Nets

Why? Because Irving is a dumbass. 

 

Destination: Brooklyn Nets

Basketball Record: 10-9

The whole reason I'm doing this self-serving, victory-lap article? Report: Kyrie Irving's Mood Swings Already Making Nets' Officials "Queasy.

 

Klay Thompson: Golden State Warriors

Why? I think the owner wants to keep Thompson a Warrior forever.

 

Destination: Golden State Warriors

Basketball Record: 4-16

Durant is gone. Iguodala is gone. Thompson is out for the year. Curry is out for the year. Thompson's Warriors will have to re-group next year.

 

DeMarcus Cousins: New York Knicks

Why? Because Cousins is breaking down physically so he'll sign with the Knicks. The Knicks have to sign someone, and of course they'll make the wrong choice and overpay the wrong guy.

 

Destination: L. A. Lakers 

Basketball Record: 17-2

Cousins signed with the Lakers in July, then blew out his knee and is out for the year. Right now the Lakers have the best record in the league. Could Cousins win a ring from the bench?

 

Kemba Walker: Charlotte Hornets

I think the Hornets' hands are tied and they will have to pay him the SuperMax Contract. The only other scenario I can come up with is a sign and trade with the Knicks. Walker and Cousins, good for the #8 seed for the next 2 years. (Or a sign and trade with the...Pistons?)

 

Destination: Boston Celtics

Basketball Record: 13-5

Danny Ainge is also a Genius. About 10 seconds after Irving bolted, Ainge locked up Walker in an obvious move that no one seemed to see coming. Micheal Jordan has yet to prove his intellect in the front office.

 

Kristaps Porzingis: Dallas Mavericks

Why? Mark Cuban, that's why.

 

Destination: Dallas Mavericks

Basketball Record: 12-6

Porzingis is the cornerstone in the Mavericks' re-build.

 

Tobias Harris: Philadelphia 76'ers

Why? Because I think Redick is the odd man out.

 

Destination Harris: Philadelphia 76'ers

Basketball Record: 14-6

Destination Redick: New Orleans Pelicans

Basketball Record: 6-13

 

I believe most of the players are staying put.

And what about the poorly advised?

Anthony Davis: I still think he wants out, but somehow, someway, I think he's going to end up in L.A.

(With the Clippers.)

 

Destination: L.A. Lakers

Basketball Record: 17-2

The much-rumored deal finally happened.

 

LeBron James: He'll still be a Laker. I think someone is getting traded to the Lakers. 

(Don't ask me who. Kevin Love? Chris Paul?)

 

Destination: L.A. Lakers

Basketball Record: 17-2

Or the obvious? Anthony Davis.

 

Lonzo Ball: I think someone is getting traded AWAY from the Lakers.

(Preferably somewhere that Ball Sr. will hate. Utah, New Orleans, or Minnesota.)

 

Destination: New Orleans

Basketball Record: 6-13

Big Baller Brand? Teetering on Bankruptcy

Lonzo Ball's return to L.A. Trip? Cancelled due to "Stomach Bug."

 

The Cleveland Cavaliers? They'll get nothing and like it.

 

Basketball Record: 5-14

The only thing the Cavs seemed to get was a new coach. "New" being a relative term, with 66 year old John Beilein at the helm.

 

 

 

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