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LeBron's Next Contract (Part Deux)

Just a few hours ago, LeBron announced he is leaving Cleveland.


He's going to the L.A. Lakers.

Last time I was pissed at LeBron...

This time I'm pissed at EVERYONE.

  1. Koby Altman, you blow. You should be run out of the NBA. You made a choice to trade Kyrie Irving, despite the fact he had 2 years left on his contract. You chose wrong. You traded Irving and got a bunch of magic beans. Then you made matters worse and turned those magic beans into piles of crap. How did the Lakers have money to sign LeBron? BECAUSE OF YOUR TRADE with the Lakers. When you traded Dwayne Wade, you sealed the Cavs fate in the Finals. Then, as soon as the season ended, we warned you that you had to make some moves fast. You signed Rodney Hood to a qualifying offer (Rodney Hood should be out of the league for his antics versus Toronto) and made a draft pick. YOU DID NOT ACT FAST. Within a year, you lost 2 NBA Stars. But you know what, I shouldn't blame you, I blame the guy who hired you....

  2. Dan Gilbert. I hope you have a plan. This whole mess started because you parted with David Griffin for what reason? Seriously I'm waiting.

  3. Tony Rizzo. No one on the Cleveland airwaves kissed LeBron's tuckus more than RIzzo. When LeBron left the first time, it was Rizzo who was the head of the PR campaign for him to come back. Tony Rizzo bragged that he had job offers in Los Angeles in his youth, well it's time for you to follow LeBron back out of town.

  4. Dave McMenamin at ESPN. No one gave more false hope that LeBron was staying in town this time around.

  5. The NBA. The drama of LeBron has worn me out. I hope your NBA Finals next year are the Toronto Raptors vs the Oklahoma City Thunder and your advertising partners get soaked.

  6. And finally, LeBron himself.

I going to say this slowly and calmly, but with extreme malice. Even before you graduated High School, a poor boy from Akron had somehow managed some mysterious cash streams. After the fact, you lamented how much everyone was making off of you. I heard the quote "I want to be a billionaire" before I heard the quote "I want to build a championship." Since the beginning of your career it's been about the LeBron Brand. Thank you for bringing Cleveland 1 Championship in your 20 year career. (When this new contract expires.) Nike paid you your billion dollars and the Cavaliers were hamstrung by "decisions." Your business sense, though, has been impeccable. When all is said and done, on top of being the greatest basketball player of your generation, you may also be the greatest businessman when you take into account all athletes in North American sports. With this decision, you are propelling your brand to new heights. Within 4 years, you could potentially be the leader of the Sports Entertainment World.

So congratulations, you're basically the Black Donald Trump.

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