In 1988, esteemed author Salman Rushdie released his 4th novel The Satanic Verses. Almost immediately, clerics in Iran found the novel blasphemous toward the Prophet Muhammad and declared a fatwa for death in relation to Rushdie.
Young Fred was aghast and bought the Satanic Verses in support of Rushdie and tenets of Free Speech. But when I tried to read it....
In the year 2022, I described the experience thusly: "I actually tried to read the damn thing and it was impenetrable." Let me expound just a bit though, I don't like feeling stupid, I read the first chapter and didn't understand the book at all. There were paragraphs that I read over and over and I was convinced the book wasn't even in English. As a hack writer, I can easily say that The Satanic Verses was the hardest thing I have ever read, by a mile, and I didn't even come close to finishing it.
But I still supported Rushdie and his interpretation of free speech. Part of my problem as a reader is that I believed I was going to read something cartoonishly evil, like the literary version of the metal band Anthrax. What I got was a doctoral-level dissertation about good and evil, physics books were more accessible.
For fleeting moments over the years, I considered reading some of Rushdie's other novels, but I didn't need that headache.
So imagine my surprise when Salman Rushdie named his memoir Knife, which is hysterical considering that he was stabbed by a religious zealot. When promoting Knife, Rushdie mentioned that the guy who stabbed him only read 2 pages of his book.
The subtext being, if you're going to stab a guy, at least read his book.
Now here's my dilemma. I'm really tempted to read Knife, it's getting good reviews.
Yet part of me doesn't want to feel that dumb again. Then a voice whispered in my ear: "At least you're not as brainless as the guy who stabbed Rushdie. You have to be an absolute moron to stab someone in anger without knowing why you're angry."
Great. I feel much better now.