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Applying for Jobs


As Beacon of Speech continues to be a, shall we say, non-profitable endeavor, we realize that there needs to be a supplemental revenue stream for the website.

In a perfect world, what job would be awesome, yet still be on the ground level of potential growth? I know, I would like to be the Howard Cosell of the MASL. What is the MASL you ask? It's the Major Arena Soccer League. Still not ringing any bells? Well, it has a number of teams with traditional indoor soccer names. The San Diego Sockers, the Dallas Sidekicks, and the Baltimore Blast are all names I am familiar with from my childhood.

Right now we are in the thick of the MASL playoffs. As a matter of fact the Baltimore Blast is playing the Milwaukee Wave in the Eastern Conference finals this weekend. And the San Diego Sockers are playing Sonora Suns in the Western Conference bracket.

Why are you still looking at me with that confused look on your face? You say you went to ESPN.com and there is absolutely nothing on their site about the MASL? That's why they need to hire me. While half of the ESPN site is focused on Bracketology and the NFL Draft, they are missing the drama of the Indoor Soccer Playoffs.

What qualifications do I have? I'm glad you asked. I did do that indoor soccer movie, Blasphemers. I'm not above cross pollination, hire me and Max Ferdinand is in Blasphemers 2: The Downward Spiral.

You don't know who Max Ferdinand is? He's got a winning smile and led the league in assists. An assist and a half a game, impressive for any league. If you've been following the adventures of Beacon of Speech, you know we work on the cheap here, again perfect for a ground level sports entity.

And I'm prone to aggrandizing. Want an example? Franck Tayou is the Lionel Messi of North American indoor soccer! (Oooh, that may be a bit much. Maybe dial it back a bit.) Franck Tayou is on his way to becoming the Steve Zungul of his generation. (Better.) Or you could go negative, Gabe Arredondo is the scourge of the league, leading the MASL in penalty minutes. What would Tatu say about a forward that spends more time in the box than climbing the boards?

I'm not a marketing guy, but even people who hate golf know who Tiger Woods is. People who hate racing know who Danica Patrick is. People who hate basketball know who LeBron is, etc. Who is your player that transcends the sport?

One thing that the MASL is doing right, is that they have their games on YouTube. For the short term, having MASLtv available to all comers is a good short-term business solution.

And if that doesn't work, I'm not above groveling. After the Ron Newman Cup at the end of the month, I'll be waiting by that phone....


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