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  • Fred

Danny Ainge and Black Flag

So I've had time to think some more about the Kyrie Irving going to Boston trade after his press conference yesterday. I am going to attempt to be as professional and clear headed as I can muster. Danny Ainge's trade will cost him his job. We are going to be the Masters of Speculation today. I think, that Danny Ainge thinks, that Kyrie Irving is a more talented and athletic version of himself in his 20's. That miscalculation will end Ainge's tenure in Boston.

The year before LeBron came to Cleveland, this was Irving's stat line: 33-49 Record

-71 games 35.2 min .430 fg% .358 3-pt% .861 ft% 3.6 RPG 6.1 APG 1.5 Steals .3 Blocks 20.8 Points

103 games 36.5 min .442 fg% .378 3-pt% .826 ft% 4.1 RPG 6.2 APG 1.5 Steals .2 Blocks 18.5 Points

The statistics are frighteningly similar. Now Ainge would be about 30 when he put up those stats versus Irving at 21, and that's where the rose covered glasses come in. Again, speculation, he sees a younger and and more talented version of himself and he traded away quality assets to bet on Irving to win more championships with the advantage of youth. Subconsciously, Ainge was betting on himself. Too bad Ainge is about the competition and Irving is about the brand. Ainge was just a cog in the Bird-McHale-Parrish championships, where in Cleveland it was the James & Irving show. And, of course, Kyrie asked to be traded away, whereas the Celtics tried to move Ainge in favor of a youth movement.

The problem is, I think that Kyrie Irving is at his ceiling now, whereas Ainge thinks there's another level for Irving to ascend. If I'm right, the Celtics will finish the year around .500. If Ainge is right...well, he better be right, he bet his job on it.


Now it's dangerous to rattle around in someone else's head. When I woke up this morning, I wasn't thinking about sports at all. I had started this article with the sliver of an idea that Danny Ainge saw himself in Kyrie Irving yesterday, but when I resumed my writing, I was thinking about Black Flag. People might think that I obsess over basketball players all the time, but it's just not true. I'm intrigued on how today's top players view themselves as businessmen before athletes. If they were such great businessmen, they wouldn't have picked up a basketball. The point is, you never know what anyone's thinking about and that's why I'm very clear that I am speculating here. But I think I'm right and I don't hear anyone else pushing the Ainge/Irving hypothesis....

What was I thinking about Black Flag, you ask? I heard a song called Greg Ginn by the Plurals and was surprised that they were not fans. Not fans at all. Then I wondered why you never hear about Black Flag getting back together. The simple reason is that Black Flag is a certifiable mess.

Henry Rollins was told by Greg Ginn in 1986 that Black Flag was over. 6 influential albums in 6 years, then Kablooey! Rollins was the band's fourth lead singer and is arguably more famous for talking about being in Black Flag then actually being in Black Flag. As Rollins' and Ginn's relationship was shit in 1986, time heals all wounds, right? Eh....

Let's start with the '86 lineup: Henry Rollins graduated Black Flag and launched the Rollins Band, became an author, and is now a social commentator.

Perfect Synopsis from

Click Image above for link

Greg keeps reuniting Black Flag with anyone with a pulse.

C'el Revuelta passed away earlier this year.

And Anthony Martinez? The internet is not helpful on the whereabouts of Anthony Martinez.

Chances that incarnation of Black Flag reunites? -5%

The last Black Flag reunion was a few years back with

Mike Vallely, actor/skateboarder on vocals

Ginn on guitars

Brandon Pertzborn on drums

And Tyler Smith on bass

Chances of that incarnation, or a similar made up version, of Black Flag reuniting? 95%

Because Black Flag is now Ginn and a bunch of tribute band members. He flipped the whole band, minus himself, between 2013 and 2014. Look for Ginn to grab other local musicians to fill out roster spots in the future and call it Black Flag.

Now here's where things get even more tricky.

A bunch of former Black Flag members asked the rhetorical question:

Wouldn't it be awesome to do Black Flag songs without that A-Hole Greg Ginn?

Then 4 former members formed FLAG IIII, because Ginn owns the Black Flag name and would sue their brains out.

FLAG IIII participated in a benefit concert earlier this year, but is currently on hiatus.

FLAG IIII, with Black Flag participation dates:

Keith Morris – vocals (76-79)

Chuck Dukowski – bass (77-83)

Stephen Egerton – from Descendents/All

Dez Cadena – guitar/vocals (81-83)

Bill Stevenson – drums (81-85, on and off)

Chances that lineup reunites with Greg Ginn? 0.000000000000000013%

(The same statistical probability as winning the Powerball.)


What's the point of my article?

Who knows, I started coming down with a fever in the middle, can't remember where I was going.

Something about....

Danny Ainge and the Blue Jays

Mike Vallaly = Jeff Penalty

Maybe I should have scrubbed my article and plagiarized a story about Uranus' moon Cressida.

The University of Idaho in Moscow (?!?) reports that Cressida is less dense than water.

So if you could find a giant interplanetary bathtub filled with H2O, Cressida would float in it.

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