#MeToo Shades of Gray
This whole Brett Kavanaugh business has kind of blurred the lines of the 'he said she said' argument. I don't want to take sides because both Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford have both turned into well respected professionals. On one hand, I think it's feasible that Kavanaugh was drunk and doesn't remember doing anything wrong. And on the other hand, I think that Ford was terrified to report a sexual assault at the hands of the son of an attorney and a judge.
Which got me thinking....
I'm about the same age as Brett Kavanaugh, is there anything that I have done or witnessed that would disqualify a person from the U.S. Supreme Court in the days #metoo?
As a matter of fact...
I have 4 deeply personal stories from 4 different angles. First let's expound on my background. I am a heterosexual male. In my life, my sexual partner list numbers under 5. Subconsciously I think I would have liked to have more partners, but crippling anxiety has been both a blessing and a curse in my life. And anxiety plays a part in all 4 narratives.
Back in graduate school, I couldn't breath and had near constant panic attacks. One night I couldn't even bring myself to leave my basement apartment and my friend's sister came over to watch horror movies with me. Her on one end of the couch, me on the other. Both of us were in our 20's and we fell asleep watching some Grade B flicks. About 5 a.m. in the morning, I had the craziest sex dream I ever had. And it involved the girl on the other end of the couch.
I was convinced she was pleasuring me. After a few minutes, she suddenly stopped. I peaked one eye open to see what was going on and she was just laying there. In my head I was like "oh, it's a game, now she's pretending to be sleeping." So I inched over and grabbed her breasts. Her eyes shot open and she gave me a stern "what are you doing?" look.
It was then blatantly obvious that she really was sleeping and I apologized. She explained she had a boyfriend, I apologized again. I told her about my dream and she said she was sleeping the whole time. And I apologized again. And again. She told me to calm down and if we both went back to sleep everything would be cool.
I stayed awake with my eyes closed, afraid to fall asleep because I was afraid of my own subconscious, and she woke up and went home around 8 a.m. I apologized profusely and then we never spoke of the incident again. We were still friends as she came to my going-away party when I moved out of the state. Today's she's a well-respected professional in her field.
I can't image her bringing up the incident again, 25 years later, but what if a reporter came to her house? Did Fred ever cross the line? What would she say, under oath, in a Congressional Hearing? Would my politics change her answer?
I believe it was my Freshman Year in College when the Goalie for my Indoor Soccer Team was having a party. He called me at work and said I couldn't come unless I brought some girls. Where was I going to get girls with no notice? He said to bring some high school girls from work. Bad idea. So I brought a couple gals I didn't know very well and as soon as we walked in the door, one of the girls grabbed a bottle of booze and drank it like a juice box. Within a few minutes, that same girl walked up to me and thrust her hands down my pants. I was stunned. She didn't care, "c'mon loser, you're never getting a chance like this ever again."
Her sweet talk did not sway me. As she aggressively starting pulling xx xx xxxx, she started swearing "what the xxxx's wrong with you, let's go." I wasn't scared for my safely, I was scared for my health. In the back of my head, all I could think of was that she was probably riddled with STDs. So I grabbed her arms and explained to her as gently possible that I had a girlfriend (true) and couldn't be with her because the aforementioned goalie had a crush on her (lie, he had never met her.)
She looked at me and said "your team's not in uniform, which one's the goalie?"
I pointed in his direction "that one."
She looked at him and said "he's better looking than you anyhow."
Within 15 minutes she was in the shower with the Goalie and the two of them sealed the deal within the hour.
Today she's kicking around on a piece of groundIn (her) hometown. If she was being nominated for the Supreme Court, I wouldn't testify against her, I would stay silent. I think her aggression was due to teenage alcoholism and she didn't hurt me physically, she just hurt my feelings.
Bad, Depending on Your State
When I was 21, I was in a relationship with a 17 year old. I didn't think too much of the age difference because my parents were married when my Dad was 21 and my Mom was 18, but I was acutely aware that in some states our age difference would be illegal. In Ohio though, the age of consent was 16, therefore legal. Today the law is same for the ages, but with the stipulation unless you are in a position of leadership over the minor. I can't help but think of how our relationship may have been different in another part of the country. My relationship with xxxxx may be viewed through a different prism depending on your physical location in America.
I still don't want to talk about it in a public forum.
Let's just say that relationship was like playing with a lighter, sitting in a puddle of gasoline, in a fireworks factory.
Today she's pouring intoxicants to the next generation of young alcoholics and recently re-married.
I wish her well.
From far, far away.
Back when I worked at Taco Bell, I was a shift manager horsing around with one of the employees in the parking lot. When I came in from the parking lot, I found one of my male employees masterbating by the door.
Me: "What are you doing?"
Employee: "What does it look like I'm doing."
Me: "Please stop."
Me: "Or else I'm going to fire you."
Employee: "What cause?"
Me: "Pretty sure masterbation is a fireable offense."
Employee: "Show me the exact line in the handbook that says you can get fired for public masterbation."
Me: "As a personal favor to me, please stop."
Employee: "Okay, since you asked nicely."
Now I was in a bind. I really wanted to fire him, he was insane. (Really. TB was his first job after being discharged from the Army on a Section 8. But if I fired him, I had no one to replace him with. So my choices were insane employee or no employee. I choose the former. xxxx eventually quit when he tired of working in general.)
Would I testify against xxxx if he was nominated for the Supreme Court?
I have only scratched the surface on the xxxx story, I am 99% sure that xxxx is in a mental institution today, so it's a moot point.
With pundits racing to their laptops to type up their spin on what has turned into a soap opera, I have lots of questions.
- I basically remember all college parties I ever went to because I went to 3, It is feasible that if Brett Kavanaugh belonged to the Delta Kappa Epsilon Fraternity, that he went to hundreds of parties. Asking him what happened at one specific party is like asking me about one specific day I worked during college. Mr. Hunt do you remember the night of Thursday November 1, 1990?
Me under oath: "Uh, no. 1990, on a Thursday I would have been at school all day and then closing the restaurant at night. Like hundreds of other days in 1990, I made a lot of tacos."
- Assault v rape. Let's say, for argument's sake, that Kavanaugh did clearly assault Ford. He did not rape her. Have I ever been raped? No. But to me there's a really big difference between the two. Ford is convinced that Kavanaugh WANTED to rape her. But he didn't. He scared the crap out of her. I've been assaulted before and it scared the crap out of me. Could I forgive someone who assaulted me? Probably. I don't think I could forgive someone who actually raped me.
-Christine Blasey Ford stayed silent while Judge Kavanaugh was confirmed to the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. One of the top courts in the United States and often a job that leads to the Supreme Court. I understand as a victim why Ford would stay silent, but as Kavanaugh moved up the ranks of the federal court system, where was her red line?
I'm going to keep this secret to the grave. Unless he's nominated for the Supreme Court. That's too much.
-What is the correct penalty? Again, let's say Ford is telling the God's honest truth. The penalty for simple assault in Ohio is up to 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine. The Statute of Limitations for misdemeanor level assault is 2 years. Is Kavanaugh's penalty of Public Scorn and Ruined Reputation greater than, or worse than, if he was prosecuted within 2 years of the incident?
I can't answer that, you have to answer that. (And your answer probably reveals your political affiliation.)
Let's take this topic on from a different perspective. I have a good friend from college that is a hardcore liberal. He thinks that a Libertarian is just a different shade of a Republican. If I was nominated to the Supreme Court, I think he would be furious. (Trump has done stranger things, see Betsy Devos.)
Probably the first thing he would do is scour his memory for things that would disqualify me from the Supreme Court. Because it wouldn't be whether I was qualified or not (I'm not), it would be xxxx's contribution to the current climate of the Politics of Personal Destruction. And he'd be calling Senator Sherrod Brown about local deviant Fred Hunt.
I can see it now.
Me wearing my Beacon of Speech hat and Red Wings hockey jersey to the Congressional hearings:
"No sir, no illegitimate children."
"No sir, no extramarital affairs."
"No sir, no insider trading."
"No sir, no blackout drinking."
"No sir, I never used the N-word."
"No sir, never convicted of any felonies."
"No sir, no connections to the Russian Mafia....."
Then Sherrod Brown would take the stand. "All of these traits are very admirable for a potential Judge, but one of my constituents just gave me some troubling information about your past."
"Have you ever - in your life - used the word FAG in casual conversation?"
I would tap the mic and say "could I have a short bathroom break?"
I'd run to bathroom and text my lawyer from one of the stalls: 'We are in trouble.'
Within minutes the headline on the Huffington Post would read HOMOPHOBE HUNT!!! And the media feeding frenzy would begin.....
Once the country was split as to whether an individual who used the word fag should be on the Supreme Court, the FBI would be all up in my business and my history of panic attacks would be leaked to the press.
Within minutes the headline at CNN would read FBI uncovers Hunt's Mental Health Issues. And then 100 Million Americans would be convinced that I was a Prejudiced Psychopath. Trial by Public Discourse.
Just writing this article is making my eye start to involuntarily twitch...