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  • Fred

Professional Brats (I Told Ya' So)

Well, well, well, what do we have here? I was doing some Spring Cleaning on the website and came across my very UN-professional article: Professional Brats. I theorized that there were specifically 5 athletes that were nothing more than spoiled kids. What do you think happened in the last 2 years? Did they grow up? (Mostly no.)

Kyrie Irving:

Just signed with the Brooklyn Nets,

Everywhere Kyrie goes, he has a match and some lighter fluid in his hand, burning bridges like THAT'S his life's passion. At this point, I actually think that he enjoys making people angry.

Irving's newest narrative is that he and Kevin Durant hatched a plan a year ago to play together with the destination being unknown. When things went south in the Bay Area and Boston, they chose Brooklyn as their landing spot.

How did they choose that? Who knows, maybe because when the Moon enters Sagittarius, the need for a new adventure was in full cycle. Going full little-brother mode, Irving is creating a new Superteam (like LeBron did in Miami) and is citing his long time wishes to play at "home" (like LeBron claimed to do in Cleveland.) If you do a little research, home is actually Australia. Irving to the Melbourne United to continue their proud history of Championships in the National Basketball LEAGUE?

Don't be silly.

Neymar: Neymar went to France for bags and bags of cash (and happiness.) What did he find? Well, PSG continued to win domestically, which was good, but they were eliminated in the Champions League in the Round of 16 the past 2 years. One of the reasons that Neymar was brought to Paris was to WIN the Champions League,

So now Neymar's unhappy again. He would like to keep his bags and bags of cash, but he would also like to go back to Barcelona. Barcelona would like Neymar back, but at his old salary. Messi would like Neymar back, but he doesn't get to make that call.

Earlier this week, La Liga President Javier Tebas made the nearly unprecedented move to publicly state that he hoped that Neymar would NOT return to his league. Why the harsh words? Oh yeah, have we mentioned Neymar's recent rape and tax fraud charges?

Editor's Note I: In Neymar's defense, there seems to be 2 sides to the Rape Case. CNN does an unexpectantly nice job of covering both sides.

One place Neymar won't be playing this year? Brazil.

Jamie Collins: Jamie Collins is back with the New England Patriots. In March, the Browns cut Jamie Collins after making $11 million in 2018. After asking for a 6 year, $100 million contract from the Patriots in 2016, the Patriots promptly traded Collins to the Browns. After 2 1/2 years with the Browns, Collins signed a....

This can't be right? Is Collins healthy? Apparently he is.

Does he have a new agent? Something can't be right here....

Collins signed a 1 year deal for $2 million in May of this year. That's not 2-0, twenty million a year, that's 2.0, two million a year. As in Jamie Collins, Version 2.0 with the Patriots. If I was a better blogger, I'd call "Bus" Cook myself and ask him what the deal was. Yeah, I'm not getting in a pissin' match with that guy.

Oscar: Okay, I was wrong about Oscar. Of the 5, he probably made the closest thing to a rational decision. The British Press was hammering Oscar for signing for big bucks in China in the prime of his career and I jumped on that Bandwagon. But, believe it or not, Shanghai SIPG actually had a good plan in place. The Chinese Super League restricts teams to only 3 foreign players on the pitch at a time, so they paid fat wads of cash for the best 3 Brazilians that they could get their hands on, Elkeson, Hulk and Oscar.

I bought into the British Arrogance: Why wouldn't Oscar play here? What Shanghai did after Oscar's signing was nothing short of spectacular. Since Oscar arrived, Shanghai won their first Super Cup, their first Chinese Super League Title, and were runners up for the Chinese FA Cup.

Though still not playing in a league as good as his European counterparts, Oscar is helping to turn Shanghai SIPG into an Asian Juggernaut. Instead of playing overseas across the Atlantic, Oscar is simply playing overseas across the Pacific.

Dwight Howard: After playing on his fourth team in four years, we here at Beacon of Speech pondered if Charlotte would be Howard's last stop.

It was not.

The Charlotte Hornets also got to see the Dwight Howard act up close and traded him away for this guy. (Make sure you click on the Mozgov picture.) As soon as Howard starting packing his suitcase to start moving to Brooklyn, the Nets waived Howard before he could get there. As a free agent, he signed with the Washington Wizards, technically his 6th team in 6 years. The Wizards would go 30-52, miss the playoffs, and Dwight Howard's season would be cut short by injured "glutes."

Why is glutes in quotations?

We're going to take the high road here and end our article.

Maybe Howard isn't a brat at all. Maybe he's just misunderstood.

Editor's Note II: Hmmmm. Why the sudden empathy for Howard?

Please finish reading about Dwight Howard at the Intelligencer below.


Editor's Note III: July 6, 2019

Howard traded to Memphis Grizzlies. Grizzlies mull releasing Howard for cap space.


Editor's Note IV: August 20, 2019

Sixth Team in 4 years, the Los Angeles Lakers, sign Howard to a Non-Guaranteed Contract.

Sources: Howard to join Lakers with Stern Caveat


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