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Prince Andrew v Michael Jackson

England's Prince Andrew is currently getting hammered by the British Tabloids. Why? Because it took them 10 years to figure out that he was (allegedly) part of a sex trafficking ring. How did things go south for Prince Andrew so "quickly?" Well, after billionaire Jeffrey Epstein committed sui-

<<cough, cough>> committed...

<cough, cough, ahem ahem, cough, cough>

suicide, the world turned its eyes to other prominent world citizens in Jeffrey Epstein's inner circle.

It wasn't long before questionable pictures of Prince Andrew starting leaking out to the tabloids, as former sex slaves began coming out of the woodwork as their photos were splashed across the internet.

Today it looks bad for Prince Andrew. This week the Queen kicked him out of Buckingham Palace and relieved him of his official duties.

Official duties? This is where our article begins....


Let's pretend, for the sake of argument, that both Michael Jackson and Prince Andrew are guilty. Guilty as hell of crimes against minors.

Let's note the similarities and differences between the two.

Michael Jackson? Born poor, he had a bad upbringing.

Prince Andrew? Born richer than rich. Not only rich, but privileged.

Jackson? Talented.

Andrew? Dopey.

Jackson's Gift to the Masses? Music.

Andrew's Gift to the Masses? Let me get back to you on that one.

Jackson's Work Ethic? Relentless.

Andrew's Work Ethic? What was his exact job again? Retired Naval Officer?

Jackson's Persona? Universally Loved. (Except for me.)

Andrew's Persona? Loved by the Queen.

Jackson's Total Number of Singles & Albums Sold? (Including the Jackson 5 and the Jacksons.)

Andrew's Discography? C'mon now.

Jackson's Combat Experience? None.

Andrew's Combat Experience? The Falklands War.

Jackson's Year of Birth? 1958.

Andrew's Year of Birth? 1960.

Did Jackson know Paul McCartney? Yes.

Did Prince Andrew know Paul McCartney? Yes......

Now you are saying, "this is absurd. What is your point? The 2 men have nearly nothing in common."

Au contraire. They have money in common.

During Michael Jackson's lifetime, he vigorously denied having any sexual relations with minors. He cooperated with law enforcement, but then there were the settlements where he paid $200 million in hush money to victims' families. Even with the revelations of multi-million dollar settlements, the estate continues to tout Jackson's innocence.

Why? Because last year Michael Jackson made nearly $1 BILLION from the grave. His guilt would jeopardize revenue streams.

The estate has to defend Michael to keep their money.

Prince Andrew, on the other hand, has also vigorously denied having any sexual relations with minors. It can be argued that Prince Andrew has a better defense, there have been no cash settlements to victims (to the public's knowledge.) But once photos of Andrew and minors started to crop up, the Royal Family couldn't distance themselves from him fast enough. Prince Charles is furious and the British Royal Family is circling the wagons. Under no circumstances do they want to be tied into any potential lawsuits.

The British Royal family makes about $10 million a year from the United Kingdom in the form of sovereign grants. I was surprised to find that seeing the Royal Family is one of the top tourist destinations in all of Europe and the Royals are paid accordingly.

If Prince Andrew was found guilty in a British Courtroom and was still in an official capacity in the Royal Family, further traction could occur for the elimination of the Monarchy. According to the Republic, that tourism factoid I just gave you in the last paragraph was a bunch of crap. The Republic endorses getting rid of the Royal Family* and ending their subsidies. Cutting off Andrew was about preserving revenue streams.

The Royals tossed Prince Andrew overboard in order to keep their money.

Any questions?

*The Monarchy in Great Britain is largely ceremonial. The Queen has very limited governmental power. The government is run by the Prime Minister. When the Republic advocates getting rid of the Royal Family, they don't mean literally, they mean getting rid of the Royals as the Heads of State.

Editor's Note: Just a reminder: As of today, Prince Andrew has not been found guilty in any court of law and has no documented history of monetary settlements in relations to any accusations.

One of the Jackson 5's top singles in the UK wasn't released as a single in America. A cover of Jackson Browne's Doctor My Eyes.

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