• Fred

Merry Christmas, Babies


Wahh!!! I'm George Lucas and I didn't like the way Star Wars turned out. Guess what? Maybe you shouldn't have sold your baby for A MOUNTAIN OF CASH. Maybe if you sold Star Wars for 3 billion instead of 4 billion they would have let you keep creative control.

Wahhh!!!! I'm Nancy Pelosi and don't like the Senate's Rules of Impeachment.

or

Wahhh!!! I'm Donald Trump and it's not fair that I got impeached and Obama didn't.

Depending on your politics, of course.

Wahhh!!! I'm Bill Cosby and I'm in jail.

Bill Cosby taking a run at Eddie Murphy is one of the saddest things I have ever seen. Eddie Murphy was hilarious this past weekend and showed he still had it. Murphy also reminded America that there's is no "right" way to do comedy. Long story short, Cosby is simply a jealous old man.

Wahhh!!! We're Aston Villa and our Premiere League Team sucks.

In the Spring, Aston Villa cried their way into the Premiereship and screwed Leeds.

Now they're at the bottom of the table limping toward relegation. Even former owner Randy Lerner can't stay out of the news for stupid reasons.

Wahhh!!! We're CNN and our viewership is tanking.

CNN's ratings are at their lowest levels in 3 years, (basically in a downward trend since the 2016 Presidential election.) Maybe they should try to report on a cross section of news, instead of their constant Trump BashFest.

Like, did they ever find out what happened to all those dead tourists in the Dominican Republic? Or does stealing stories from smaller news outlets take up all of their time?

Wahhh!!! I'm Dabo Swinney and it's not fair that there's bias against non-SEC teams in college football.

Yeah, sorry, you're about a decade late figuring out something everyone else already knew about.

Wahhh!!! I'm Madonna and I may have to cancel my European Tour due to "indescribable pain."

Indescribable pain is what I think of when listening to 2019's Madame X.

Wahhh!!! I'm Jeremy Roenick and my co-workers won't have a threesome with me.....

Uh, what????

I liked Jeremy Roenick when he played for the Chicago Blackhawks.

I liked Jeremy Roenick when he played for the Phoenix Coyotes.

I didn't like Jeremy Roenick when he played for the Philadelphia Flyers.

Then I didn't really care about Roenick one way or the other as he bounced from the Kings, back to the Coyotes, then to the Sharks.

The hows and the whys as to why he was suspended indefinitely are still a bit confusing to me.

(Locally)

Wahh!!! I'm Tony Rizzo and if the Browns bring back Freddy Kitchens I am done. Someone else will be doing this show. (12-23-19 at 9:06 am.)

That is a bold prediction for someone notoriously bad at predications in big moments.

#Yoda

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