Go back and watch Kevin Smith's Chasing Amy and you'll realize that, from a young age, Ben Affleck was one of the best actors of his generation.
But you see that meme above? As Jennifer Lopez's Fourth Husband, Affleck has been reduced to a punchline.
Now don't get me wrong, Affleck did this to himself, but a generation ago Hollywood's biggest stars were assholes as they aged. They drank, caroused, and gambled until their bodies gave out.
Ben Affleck is trying to be a good guy, TRYING being the key word.
Why is Ben so exasperated?
He just wants to be an Alley Cat.
Kirk Douglas:
One of the greatest actors of his generation, Douglas was married to Anne Buydens for over 60 years, their love was so pure and enduring, they wrote a book together: Kirk and Anne: Letters of Love.
But when you read the fine print, you found out that Kirk had hundreds of affairs and she allowed it because she had a very "European" view on marriage. Does that mean she, too, had hundreds of affairs? Uh, no.
Marlon Brando:
He was, arguably, the greatest actor of his generation. Was bisexual before being bisexual was cool and was a renowned sexual being.
Or, another interpretation, he was so indiscriminate in his tastes* that he had sex with Richard Pryor.
*Editor's Note: Nothing against Richard Pryor, he was one of the greatest comedians of all time. But my question would be whether this happened pre- or post- 1980?
Jon Bon Jovi
Though Bon Jovi's filmography has been limited to a dozen or so films, he was one of the greatest Rock Stars* of his generation. Even though he's been married for 35 years, in April, Bon Jovi admitted to People Magazine that he "slipped" to the tune of hundreds of times.
*Editor's Note II: According to Ultimate Classic Rock Magazine, not by us.
That's what Affleck wants, a woman who will let him-
Drink when he wants,
Smoke when he wants,
Gamble when he wants,
Step out when he wants.
And then not out him for being a cad until he's old or dead.
Those women exist, but they aren't famous, and they certainly aren't Jennifer Lopez-
At some point, you have to ask yourself: "Doesn't Beacon of Speech have better things to write about?"
About a year ago, we wrote the article Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt and it kind of defended the star against old allegations of verbal abuse from one of his kids.
But if I had to guess the source of the original article that was being commented on, it wouldn't be some intrepid reporter doing his due diligence, I would guess the origin was probably from Angelina Jolie's publicist.
Every time I read something salacious at the Daily Mail, I can't help but think that it's NOT from overzealous paparazzi, but paid placements from publicists and handlers.
I really think most celebrities could just go away, if they wanted too. Is it feasible that Ben Affleck has an unscrupulous publicist that doesn't tell him everything? Uh, yeah.
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