Catholicism Incorporated
- Fred
- Apr 22
- 3 min read
According to Yahoo! News, the next Pope will be one of these 15 men:
Pietro Parolin (Italy)
Matteo Maria Zuppi (Italy)
Pierbattista Pizzaballa (Italy)
Editor's Note: Pope Pizza Ball? From Italy? Not happening.
Claudio Gugerotti (Italy)
Jean-Marc Aveline (France)
Jean-Claude Hollerich (Luxembourg)
Anders Arborelius (Sweden)
Mario Grech (Malta)
Peter Erdo (Hungary)
Luis Antonio Tagle (Philippines)
Charles Maung Bo (Myanmar)
Peter Turkson (Ghana)
Fridolin Ambongo Besungu (Democratic Republic of Congo)
Robert Francis Prevost (United States)
Timothy Dolan (United States)
I don't know the name of the next Pope, but go ahead and scratch off all those names from anywhere else but Europe. The next Pope will be from the Italy, France, or Germany area. Pope Francis was far too liberal for his own church and there's going to be an effort to move back to traditionalism. I highlighted the names above that would fit the geographic prerequisite.
Right now there are 252 Cardinals, but once a Cardinal ages out at 80, they can no longer vote at the conclave. Using that requirement, there are only 135 Cardinals that can vote, or be, the new Pope.
Let's step back for a minute....
You know how many people there are in the world?
About 8 billion.
The New Pope has to be Catholic.
There are "only" 1 billion Catholics.
You just eliminated 7 billion potential popes.
The New Pope is not going to be a woman.
You just eliminated 500 million potential popes.
The New Pope is not going to be a non-Priest.
Your Pope Pool is down to 400,000 men.
The last Pope that wasn't a Cardinal was Urban VI in 1378.
You New Pope is going to be one of the 135 Old Men in that Conclave.
If you REALLY wanted to realize Pope Francis' vision of a more welcoming church, you wouldn't vote for any of those 135 geezers.
Anyone who is voted in as the New Pope is going to have, a minimum, of 40 years of institutional experience in the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. Most haven't run a parish since before the year 2000. Pope Francis was liberal, by Pope Standards. Pope Francis was not liberal, by any means, compared to the general population. All those Cardinals are going to circle the wagons, so to speak, and attempt to grind many of Francis' policies to a halt.
Why? Because many of Francis' most famous declarations weren't based on theology, but on the vague concept of compassion.
Listen, don't think of Catholicism as a Church, think of it as a giant corporation, not unlike Apple, Google, or Tesla. There are many untenable necessities that the New Pope is going to have to deal with when it comes to the structure of the workforce. First and foremost, a Priest shortage that is now nearing a worldwide crisis. Who will tend the Catholic Flock?
You argue that shouldn't be the way a Pope is chosen? It should be based on scriptures, specifically in the tradition of St. Peter the Apostle, the first Pope.
You may believe that.
I may believe that.
Those Cardinals are entrenched in the Vatican City, a place with no real citizens, just a hierarchy of secluded clergymen. Their decisions aren't just bound by the present, but by the ghosts of 2,000 years of scribes.
I don't think Francis' voice outweighs those of the past.
You're unswayed by any of my theological mish-mosh and just want to gamble?
The website above is just for you. They are taking bets.
Pietro Parolin (Italy) - 32% chance
Luis Antonio Tagle (Phillippines) - 23% chance
Matteo Maria Zuppi (Italy) - 11% chance
Peter Turkson (Ghana) - 9% chance
Peter Erdo (Hungary) - 9% chance
I'll tell you what, if I could get 20-1 odds on the other 120 Cardinals outside of the Top 15 for a Field Bet, I would put down $100 right now. You want some more handicapping?
You counter that Jesus would be offended by this entire process.
I'm not arguing with you.
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