Lane Kiffin: Just Another Football Dirtbag

At the end of Thanksgiving Dinner, with the Chiefs/Cowboys game playing in the background, my Father-In-Law, who's arguably the smartest Football Guy I know, leaned back after a heavy meal and took a deep sigh.

I took the brief moment of silence to lean over and say "I know we're watching NFL Football, but I am intrigued by the Lane Kiffin Saga, I hope he stays with Ole Miss. But I have to know, where do you think Lane Kiffin is going?"

My Father-In-Law placated me and laid out everything I had already read on the topic. He said it would be a nice story for Ole Miss to keep Kiffin, he talked about money and he talked about the realities of the college game. As I tried to make a case for Ole Miss, he kind of sat upright to clear the air.

His tone shifted from conversational to dead serious, like he was in a suit and tie in front of audience.

"Listen Fred, he is 100% going to LSU."

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This year, Lane Kiffin was paid $9 million to coach college football.

I want you to read that slowly and I really want that to sink in. Lane Kiffin was coaching the NFL's Oakland Raiders 20 years ago, he's not some young assistant coach looking for the opportunity of a lifetime, he's a lifer who's made millions to coach football in the United States of America. He is football royalty, being the son of the late Monte Kiffin, who coached in college or the NFL for over 50 years.

Kiffin is walking away from his team, in season, to take a, reported, 7-year $84 million position with an SEC rival.

Now your argument is that I'm just a bitter blogger, hating just to hate? I'm bad at math and that's a $3 million a year raise, with all kinds of perks and recruiting advantages that's not even being reported?

Listen, this is from an expert, the top college football writer at the USA Today: "The Portal King has entered the transfer portal, and he took a blow torch to his Mississippi legacy on the way out the door."

That contract from LSU didn't just appear like magic from the thin air, Lane Kiffin, IN SEASON, was playing footsie with both LSU and Florida, sending out family members to both campuses like he was a sought after recruit, not an established coach trying to secure a spot in the college playoffs for his team.

Don't hate the player, hate the game? Okay, let's strip absolutely everything away from the conversation. This is the quote that made me write this article:

"After a lot of prayer and time spent with family, I made the difficult decision to accept the head coaching position at LSU." Prepared statement from Lane Kiffin, via ESPN.

Please don't say you prayed about the decision.

Just say you're a scumbag and took the biggest pile of cash. You jammed the system as hard as you could to become one of the highest paid coaches in college football history.

For once in your life, just try be honest instead of trying to be ruthlessly scummy just to win football games.

Jesus was a real man who lived during the Roman Empire. The Roman Colosseum was built in the year 80 A.D., about 50 years after Jesus' crucifixion on the cross by Roman Emperor Pontius Pilate.

During Jesus' lifetime, chariot racing, gladiator fights, and harpastum were all wildly popular sports for the richest Empire on Earth. Harpastum, by all accounts, wasn't that much unlike modern rugby. I could make an argument that the sport was a very early predecessor of American Football.

Do you remember the part in the Bible where Jesus talked about the importance of having a really good Harpastum Coach? Or the importance of having a good Harpastum Team for community spirit? Or even why it's important to have the best Harpastum Team in the Empire.

Oh, I forgot Lane 3:16 - Get Rich or Die Tryin'

I mean, what are we doing here?