How to Disappear

Over at the Atlantic, they revealed the Secrets of the World's Greatest Privacy Experts.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves in life.

If you are an American, it is easy to disappear, it really is.

Ted Kaczynski was the master at hide and seek, he built the template for disappearing. First step is to renounce technology and move to the middle of nowhere. Disavow large sums of cash and move into a modest home. (In Kaczynski's case, a very, very modest home.) Get a low visibility job and keep to yourself.

If Kaczynski wasn't a criminal who bombed people and wrote manifestos, he would have lived his life in total obscurity.

The problem is that the rich want to "disappear," but they want to keep their million dollar homes in their rich neighborhoods, keep in contact with their rich friends, and keep up their appearances on social media.

Unless you've been accused of a crime and the authorities are aggressively searching for you, this checklist should work for the average American looking to disappear.

1. De-activate Your Social Media - No brainer, right? You'd be surprised at how many people whine that they want to disappear...to their millions of followers. Or, if you're addicted to Social Media, just leave the popular platforms. Yesterday I posted an article on Bluesky and it resulted in 1 hit. And that one person disagreed with me, it was like two guys arguing in an cavernous, abandoned mall.

2. Move Away From The City - There's 88 counties in Ohio. If you move to one of the 70 less populace counties, there's a chance that your real estate transaction doesn't even make the local newspaper, let alone end up on the internet.

3. Get Ugly - Stop wearing makeup. Gain 50-60 pounds. People will stop looking for you. I tell anyone who will listen, Jesus had to be good looking (by Ancient Roman standards). If you're handsome and perform miracles, people follow you and call you the Son of God. If you're ugly and perform miracles, they call you a witch and stone you to death. Don't get too ugly though, because once you evolve into being hideous, people start to notice you in a bad way.

4. Cash, Cash, Cash - The more you spend cash, the less of a digital paper trail you make. As a matter of fact, the less splashy your spending and the way you show it to the public, the more you blend into the scenery.

5. If You're Bored, Then You're Boring - Don't show up in the front row of that Cavaliers game, sit in the rafters, even the vendors will ignore you. Better yet, pay $10 to stand at a non-televised Indoor Soccer Game. If you don't go to high visibility events, you are considered invisible to certain people.

You say disappearing doesn't sound like a lot of fun? People who really want to disappear do it all the time.

You just don't notice them.