5 years ago I was terminated from my job at Iron Mountain after 15 years.
I hated my job. But despite layoffs just a month before my termination, I felt fairly secure ---- -------------------- ------ ------ ---- -----, he wouldn't terminate ME, he didn't want his business plastered all over the internet. He knew I was webcasting and setting up the blog.
Every day for 5 years I've thought about Iron Mountain at least once per day. Not because I miss the old place, but because at my job now, the manager is at least tolerable and I'm simply not used to it. And even though she's not perfect, she doesn't break ANY state laws.
In my head, I clearly remember being terminated, but, as time goes by, it feels more and more like I was terminated by Jello Biafra in 1985. For a 27 year old, Biafra sure nailed the arrogance of Middle Management well....
SOUP IS GOOD FOOD by the DEAD KENNEDYS
We're sorry But you're no longer needed Or wanted Or even cared about here Machines can do a better job than you And this is what you get for asking questions
The unions agree Sacrifices must be made Computers never go on strike To save the working man you've got to put him out to pasture
Looks like we'll have to let you go Doesn't it feel fulfilling to know That you-the human being-are now obsolete And there's nothing in hell we'll let you do about it
(Refrain)
Soup is good food-(We don't need you any more) You made a good meal-(We don't need you any more) Now how do you feel?-(We don't need you any more) To be shit out our ass And thrown in the cold like a piece of trash
We're sorry You'll just have to leave Unemployment runs out after just six weeks How does it feel to be a budget cut? You're snipped You no longer exist
Your number's been purged from our central computer So we can rig the facts And sweep you under the rug See our chart? Unemployment's going down If that ruins your life that's your problem
(Refrain)
Soup is Good Food, Etc.
We're sorry We hate to interrupt But it's against the law to jump off this bridge You'll just have to kill yourself somewhere else A tourist might see you And we wouldn't want that
I'm just doing my job, you know So say uncle And we'll take you to the mental health zoo Force feed you mind-melting chemicals Til even the outside world looks great
In hi-tech science research labs It costs too much to bury all the dead The mutilated disease-injected Surplus rats who can't be used anymore
So they're dumped (with no minister present) In a spiraling corkscrew dispose-all unit Ground into sludge and flushed away
Aw geeeez
(Refrain)
Soup is good food You made a good meal, etc:.
We know how much you'd like to die We joke about it on our coffee breaks But we're paid to force you to have a nice day In the wonderful world we made just for you
"Poor Rats", we human rodents chuckle At least we get a dignified cremation And yet... At 6:00 am tomorrow morning It's time to get up and go to work
What were the -------------------- , you ask?
If you really, really want to know, I'll tell you, but you're going to have to work for it.
Click on the Jesus with a Gun Icon
Enter the Codeword: ------------
You, the reader, are now the ----------- as he was for me. I set up ------------- at the origin of the website, and time has NOT healed all wounds....
This article has languished in Drafts for 5 years. I would only visit it once in a while to change the years since termination date.
In 2019, I was peeved and wrote about Iron Mountain's Union Busting Tactics, but
I swore I would never actually publish this article unless I was really, really pissed.
Today is that day.
Joe K sent me this link:
Yep, everything in that article sounded like the management of Iron Mountain.
Addendum 10-13:
Yeah, I just redacted a bunch of stuff.
Turning into a wuss in my old age.