Who's the Smartest (Luckiest) Soccer Analyst Ever? This Guy!

The Premier League just ended hours ago and it's official, Beacon of Speech out-predicted the leading soccer analysts from both ESPN and the BBC .

I AM THE KING OF PREMIER LEAGUE PROGNOSTICATORS

This is from August of 2025: ESPN's Lazy, Lazy, Soccer Journalism

"Before I give you my predictions, let me give you ESPN's predictions.

1. Liverpool

2. Arsenal

3. Manchester City

4. Chelsea....

Wait a minute, that's the same as last year. What about their bottom 3 for relegation?

18. Leeds United

19. Sunderland

20. Burnley

    
    

So the 3 worst teams will be the ones just promoted? Now don't get me wrong, Bill Connelly and Ryan O'Hanlon's article was chock full of advanced analytics, but if I was ESPN, I'd fire the both of them. Of course analytics is going to spit out next year's results based off of last year. Connelly and O'Hanlon played video game soccer instead of watching real soccer.

What were the final standings for the 2025-2026 Premier League season?

1	Arsenal	26	7	5	+44	85
2	Manchester City	23	9	6	+42	78
3	Manchester United	20	11	7	+19	71
4	Aston Villa	19	8	11	+7	65
5	Liverpool	17	9	12	+10	60
6	Bournemouth	13	18	7	+4	57
7	Sunderland	14	12	12	−6	54
8	Brighton & Hove Albion	14	11	13	+6	53
9	Brentford	14	11	13	+3	53
10	Chelsea	14	10	14	+6	52
11	Fulham	15	7	16	−4	52
12	Newcastle United	14	7	17	−2	49
13	Everton	13	10	15	−3	49
14	Leeds United	11	14	13	−7	47
15	Crystal Palace	11	12	15	−10	45
16	Nottingham Forest	11	11	16	−3	44
17	Tottenham Hotspur	10	11	17	−9	41
18	West Ham United (R)	10	9	19	−19	39
19	Burnley (R)	4	10	24	−37	22
20	Wolverhampton Wanderers (R)	3	11	24	-41	20

Arsenal: Champion

Green: Qualified for Champions League

Blue: Qualified for Europa League

Yellow: Qualified for Conference League

Reddish: Relegated

Now only 10 points separated 7th place and 16th place, so we are going to focus on the very top and the very bottom of the table.

Top 4 for 2025-2026:

1. Arsenal

2. Manchester City

3. Manchester United

4. Aston Villa

What did we say about the Top 4 last year?

"The BBC asked 33 pundits, AI, and their Supercomputer, who the top 4 were going to be and all 35 entities answers some variation of Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester City, Chelsea.

Wow. I mean, why even play the games? 11 commentators did the exact same as ESPN, 6 more simply flip-flopped Arsenal and City.

Listen. This is my lead-pipe lock for next year. 1 through 4 will not be Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester City, Chelsea AND a team from outside the top 4 from last year will make it up. I mean, I think that's a fairly safe bet."

And then I predicted:

1. Manchester City

2. Liverpool

3. Chelsea

4. Aston Villa

5. Arsenal

Now, granted, I missed Arsenal, but I had them playing Champions League soccer. Other than me though, who had Villa at 4? No one. Not one human, not one AI entity. (How did I make such a prediction? We are huge fans of Emi Martinez.)

No one had Manchester United in the Top 4 either. My lead pipe lock was spot on.

Then if you head down to the relegation zone, these were the bottom 3:

• West Ham

• Burnley

• Wolverhampton

This was ESPN's bottom 3:

• Leeds United

• Sunderland

• Burnley

Sunderland will be playing European Soccer for the first time in over 50 years.

My bottom 3?

• Nottingham Forrest (16th)

• Everton (13th)

• Burnley (19th)

All 3 of my teams finished in the bottom half of the table, but this is where I will stake my claim as a Soccer Nostradamus. Even though Nottingham Forrest wasn't relegated, they had a really bad season and was only saved from relegation in the last week of the season. Again this is from August of 2025.

"Any last comments? Evangelos Marinakis will melt down and Nottingham's fairy tale season will be a distant memory. Look for 5 managers at Nottingham this year"

Number of managers at Nottingham this past season? FOUR.

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