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  • Fred

Fake Indian Outrage

Yesterday the Politically Correct crowd finally claimed the scalp of Chief Wahoo. As a Cleveland Indians fan, I have tried to explain to those who would listen that the existence of the Chief is a free speech issue. Those opposed have called me a racist. "How would you like it if the team was called the Cleveland Caucasians? Or even the Cleveland Negros? Then your tune would change."

And I would argue back, to no avail, about the Fighting Irish and the Pirates. (When you think of Pirates, do you think of whites or blacks?) But even my own angle seemed self-serving and shallow.

I would attempt to re-set the argument. "You can't just ban things you don't like," I would then argue, and then the PC crowd would bark back at me "that's what we would expect a racist to say."

So, in conceding defeat, I'm glad that the removal of the Chief Wahoo logo has been the crucial first step in re-establishing an Indian homeland, either in Oklahoma or the Dakotas. Following the creation of Nunavut for the Inuit people in Canada, there is now a precedent in North America for assisting the Native peoples of the region in creating their own self-governed region.

"Wait, what?"

As the airwaves are clogged with people cheering the removal of the usage of Chief Wahoo, it's time to pay up. There are around 5 million Native Americans in the United States. Instead of paying lip service to real Indian issues, Indian issues are now at the forefront. Instead of reservations, the Indians get to own land and the ability to self govern within the parameters of a self-sufficient state in the Union. You can name the 51st state anything you want, let's use the name Matwau for this article, but it's going to take a tremendous amount of money to buy out current landowners in order to establish Matwau.

With the groundswell of support still high for the Indians, Matwau will entail 3-5% of the land coverage in the Continental United States. Logistically, it can't be spread all across America, so there will have to be re-settlements. That's okay, the time to do the right thing is now. And there are crippling social issues on reservations today, so Matwau will be set up with state-of-the art health care facilities to atone for the sins of the past. On the upside, think of the jobs that will be created by building a state from scratch.

And there's going to be the Fred Hunt Law. We're not going to take that money out of your taxes. You have to physically write that check to the government to establish Matwau. You will know that your compassion has a price tag.....

"Wait, wait, wait. We don't want to pay any money or move or any of that other stuff. We just don't like the logo, it makes us feel bad about ourselves."

Which is the point.

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