Creepy Ol' Bastards (NFL Version)
I'm not sure if this is a commentary on men...or on women.
So I was reading the Daily Mail UK, my secret shame, and it had a story about Robert Kraft maybe having a love child at age 76. I could have sworn I just read an article about Jerry Richardson being a creepy ol' bastard. (I did.) Since Hypocrite Roger Goodell is all about a code of conduct for the players, but not so much for management, I was wondering aloud, are all the NFL owners creepy old men?
Patriots - Owner Robert Kraft, age 76. Later in the day Kraft was forced to respond "I'm Not the Daddy" of 38 year old girlfriend's child.
Bills - Owner Terrence Pegula. Married to a woman 20 years his junior, but they seem to be the next generation of owners. Terrence and Kim Pegula are co-owners.
Dolphins - Owner Stephan M. Ross, age 77. Married to a woman 25 years his junior.
Jets - Owner Woody Johnson, age 70. Married to a woman... I can't find her age, but she's actress Suzanne Ircha. If she was in the movie Pontiac Moon in 1994, and she was in her mid-twenties, that would make her around 45-50 today.
Chiefs - Owner Clark Hunt inherited the team from previous owner Lamar Hunt.
Chargers - Owner Dean Spanos inherited the team from previous owner Alex Spanos.
Raiders - Owners Mark Davis and Carol Davis inherited the team from previous owner Al Davis.
Broncos - Owner Pat Bowlen has Alzheimer's Disease.
Steelers - Owner Art Rooney II inherited the team from previous owner Dan Rooney.
Ravens - Owner Steve Bisciotti bought the team from Art Model.
Bengals - Owners Mike and Nancy Brown have been married for many, many, many years.
Browns - Owners Jimmy and Dee Haslam have been married for many years.
Jaguars - Owner Shahid Khan has been married for many years.
Titans - Amy Adams Strunk inherited the team from previous owner Bud Adams.
Colts - Owner Jim Irsay, age 58- Ewww.
There's the mess with a mistress, a love shack, and an overdose.
Texans - Owner Robert McNair has been married for many, many years.
Eagles - Owner Jeffrey Lurie, age 66. Married to a woman 20 years his junior.
Cowboys - Owner Jerry Jones. He has been married many years, but I may have to revise this entry. Google Jerry Jones likes to party and lots of [unverified stories and insinuations] came up.
Redskins - Owner Dan Snyder bought the team from Jack Kent Cooke.
Jack Kent Cooke is the Creepy Ol' Bastard I remember from my youth.
Giants - John Mara? No.
Steve Tisch, age 69? Yes! He recently divorced his trophy wife 20 years his junior.
Rams - Stan Kroenke? We just don't like 'em. [Ranking the NFL Owners as Bond Villians.]
Seahawks - Paul Allen? Not married. No kids. Reclusive. No money in the Beacon of Speech coffers to even SPECULATE about his personal life.
Cardinals - The Cardinals are transitioning from Bill Bidwill to Micheal Bidwill.
49'ers - Denise DeBartolo York bought out brother Eddie DeBartolo Jr. in 2000.
Saints - Owner Tom Benson, age 90. Third wife Gayle Benson is 25 years his junior.
Panthers - Owner Jerry Richardson, age 81, is actively trying to sell the Panthers after sexual harassment settlements in the Panthers organization became public.
Falcons - Owner Arthur Blank, age 75. Married to Angela Blank just this past year, 25 years his junior.
Buccaneers - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were owned by Malcom Glazer until his death in 2014. The team is now owned by the "family."
Vikings - Owner Zygi Wilf has been married for many years.
Packers - The people of Wisconsin own the Packers. They are the only publicly owned team in the NFL.
Bears - The owner of the Chicago Bears is 95 year old Virginia Halas McCaskey. She inherited the team from her father, Hall of Famer George Halas in 1983.
Lions - The owner of the Detroit Lions is 92 year old Martha Firestone Ford. Her husband William Clay Ford Sr. was the owner of the Lions and passed away a few years back. William Clay Ford Sr. was the last living grandchild of Henry Ford, who died in 1947.
Creepy Ol' Bastards in Bold
(Either 65+ in age with significantly younger wife or misconduct issues.)
Yeah, my mistake, not all the owners... ONLY ABOUT HALF OF THE MALE OWNERS.
Firestone-Ford, for example, is one of many female owners or co-owners. The others include Halas-McCaskey (Chicago Bears), Kim Pegula (Buffalo Bills), Carol Davis (Oakland Raiders), Amy Adams Strunk (Tennessee Titans), and Denise DeBartolo York (San Francisco 49ers.) Again, who owns the team is sometimes a murky line. In the cases of Bowlen and Benson, due to sensitive health issues, we'll just keep moving....
Now just because the original owner's kids aren't creepy old men, with a billion dollars burning holes in their pockets, just give them a decade or two....
...and, just because you've been married a long time, don't think we don't know what's going on with some of you.