top of page

Owner of the Cleveland Indians Dies

Writer: Fred Fred

When Jimmy Carter died, I was saddened. Not that I had loyalty or fondness for any of his policies, but Jimmy Carter seemed like a good man.


Glowing remembrances flooded the internet and confirmed what I thought from afar.

Talkin' Baseball with the Tribe
Talkin' Baseball with the Tribe

Except for one glaring exception. The USA Today's Nancy Armour took a hard run at Jimmy Carter before his body was even cold. Her problem with Carter? He cancelled the 1980 Olympics.


That was the whole obituary.


No mention of the Iran Hostages on the Bad Side, no mention of the Guinea Worm on the Good Side. No mention of Habitat for Humanity, Georgia, or even the 1980 Presidential Election. She simply excoriated him about the Moscow Olympics, then end of article.


So in the style of Nancy Armour, here is Lawrence Dolan's Obituary:

Lawrence Dolan, age 94, who bought the Cleveland Indians in 2000, then changed the name to the Guardians, removed Chief Wahoo as the mascot, and stripped the team of the nickname "The Tribe," died.


He will be remembered by this website as someone who eroded free speech in a symbolic manner.


The End.


You want a better one? Here's ESPN's obituary.

 
 
 

Comentários


bottom of page