Should I Believe Urban Meyer? (III)
Editor's Note: This article is going to break the record for swearing on our site. Be forewarned.
Just this past January, we doubted the word of Urban Meyer: Should I believe Urban Meyer (Hint: No.)
In that article, we tried to guess if Urban would be successful in the NFL, not by using emotion, but by using the tenets of gambling. These were our lines going into the 2021 NFL Season:
Chances of Urban Meyer winning the Super Bowl before March 1, 2026: 15-1
Chances of Urban Meyer being the first coach in the Modern Era to die on the sidelines: 4-1 Chances of Urban Meyer being a coach back in the college ranks before March 1, 2026: 3-1
Chances of Urban Meyer being fired from the Jags before March 1, 2026: 2-1 - Beacon of Speech January of 2021
Wow! We were right. We're cashing in our ticket. But the question remains, is Beacon of Speech run by a secret society of clairvoyants? No, Urban failing was an easy prediction because nearly all NFL coaches fail.
Nothing personal, the NFL is a meat grinder. The NFL tears through all its personnel, from executives down to players, except for owners. The NFL is set up for everyone to be average (thanks Pete Rozelle) and for the owners to make a shit-ton of money. What was the straw that broke the camel's back in Jacksonville? What "made" Shad Khan fire Urban Meyer? Some of the funniest banter you've ever heard. I guarantee you some variation of this language happens on every NFL team. And, because it's football, there is often contact between coaches and players. But Meyer had other problems, and, more importantly, he was 2-11 with his franchise quarterback questioning the drama around his coach. That last straw was contributed by former kicker John Lambo:
“I’m in a lunge position. Left leg forward, right leg back,” Lambo told the newspaper. “Urban Meyer, while I’m in that stretch position, comes up to me and says, ‘Hey, dipshit, make your fucking kicks!’ And kicks me in the leg. It certainly wasn’t as hard as he could’ve done it, but it certainly wasn’t a love tap,” Lambo continued. “Truthfully, I’d register it as a five (out of 10). Which, in the workplace, I don’t care if it’s football or not, the boss can’t strike an employee. And for a second, I couldn’t believe it actually happened. Pardon my vulgarity, I said, ‘Don’t you ever fucking kick me again!’ And his response was, ‘I’m the head ball coach, I’ll kick you whenever the fuck I want.’” -Josh Lambo per Fake SportsCenter
If Meyer was 11-2, or he was 2-11 after winning a Super Bowl with a rash of team injuries. he would still have his job. But Meyer was an asshole doing a terrible job, not an asshole doing a great job.
Doug Lesmerises, the former beat reporter covering the Ohio State Buckeyes for cleveland.com wrote a nearly perfect analysis of Meyer and his coaching style: Meyer Got Fired in the NFL the Same Way he Won in College Football.
The Urban Meyer Story is the top trending story in sports because it is salacious and polarizing. The NFL sells you the soap opera in order to distract you from the real story in the NFL, which occurred on Tuesday: Ex-NFL Player Phillip Adams had same "Unusually Severe" CTE as Aaron Hernandez when he killed Six Innocent Neighbors AND Himself in April: Doctors Blame League for IGNORING him when he Begged for Help.
Once CTE is linked to off-field violence, the NFL's days are numbered. While Roger Goodell is busy counting his piles and piles of money, the foundations of the league are starting to rot out beneath him. How is that happening?
Editor's Note: Uh, we are getting way off track-
Just give me a second because it will just take a paragraph. In the next few years, CTE is going to be linked to football. The Adams Case is going to help seal the NFL's fate. Once that link is established, about half the nations' high schools are going to discontinue football. Then, Division II and III schools will follow suit. As player pools dry up and national backlash ensues, the NFL is going to slowly wither and die on the vine,. Not today, not tomorrow, but it will happen in a generation or so. The NFL will eventually become boxing. [April 7, 2021 may go down in history as the day football died like November 13, 1982 is the historical date that killed boxing.]
Anyhow, back to Urban Meyer. He will land on his feet.....
You know what? We're going to double down here.
New Beacon of Speech Odds:
Chances of Urban Meyer winning the Super Bowl before March 1, 2026: 1,000-1
Chances of Urban Meyer being the first coach in the Modern Era to die on the sidelines (while coaching in college), before March 1, 2026: 4-1
Chances of Urban Meyer landing a broadcasting job before March 1, 2023: 1-1
Chances of Urban Meyer being a coach back in the college ranks before March 1, 2024: 1-3
It's hard to tell where Meyer is going to land, because he may sit out for a year and a lot of things can change along the college landscape in that time. If I had to throw names out there for 2022? I don't know, Boston College? West Virginia? Stanford? His modus operandi is to take a team on the outs and build them up. If he waits until 2023, people's memories will dim and he'll be able to write his own check at almost any college in America.