Sonic Temple's Dream Lineup (with a Time Machine)

Unfortunately, I had a cochlear implant earlier this year. I am very grateful to be able to hear again, but music doesn't quite sound the same as it used to. So with that being said, my kids are super excited about Sonic Temple's festival lineup next Spring. They are? If I could hear, I would have been excited.... If I had a time machine:

10. DragonForce

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 2006

Would I want to see them today? Probably, because both of the main guitarists are there, but I'd probably whine that there's no ZP Theart. What's Theart up to today? No one knows.

9. Dethklok

What year would I have WANTED to see them? Right now.

Would I want to see them today? As far as I'm concerned, they are still touring behind 2023's Army of the Doomstar and Dethalbum IV. albums. As long as real-life Brendon Small and Gene Hoglan are there, the core of Dethklok lives on.

Somehow, ironically, a cartoon band is one of the few bands on the festival lineup which is on top of their game right now. Logistically, Dethklok can do things live today that they couldn't do a decade ago.

8. The Offspring

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 1997

Would I want to see them today? Meh. The important members are still there, but, geez, I don't know, I kind of gave up on the band after Ixnay on the Hombre.

7. Sublime

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 1996

Would I want to see them today? 2 original members and deceased Brad Nowell's Son? I don't know, part of me is really uneasy about that.

6. Mushroomhead

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 2003

Would I want to see them today? 2003 was the last time the band was on top of their game with both co-lead singers, Jeffrey Hatrix and Jason Popson. Today? Hatrix is gone. Popson is gone. Everyone is gone except drummer Skinny Felton.

Since Felton's romantic partner became co-lead singer, the band's output has been terrible and word around Cleveland is that Skinny Felton is horrible. Unless you're Ginger Baker, if your drummer is the leader of the band, you're probably in big trouble. (Yes, that includes the Eagles).

5. Public Enemy

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 1988

Would I want to see them today? Back in 1988, Public Enemy was emerging from the underground and beating on the doors of the mainstream. There was something revolutionary about what they were doing. Their time may have passed, but I regret having never seeing them live. I know I'm in the minority with this take, but, to me, Chuck D was the most important rapper in the history of hip hop.

4. Anthrax

What year would I have WANTED to see them? (Again) 1998

Would I want to see them today? I saw Anthrax in 1989 as part of the Headbangers Ball Tour. They were amazing. I wanted to see them again a decade later when they were touring clubs after the John Bush-led Volume 8: The Threat is Real album. I thought Anthrax was on their game all the way up to Volume 8. Seeing them today would be nice, like seeing an old friend. Watching Public Enemy and Anthrax together perform Bring the Noise would be like a warm hug. I just bought a cool Anthrax t-shirt last month.

Free Plug

3. Static X

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 2000

Would I want to see them today? Back in the year 2000, the Static X guys toured the hell out of the Wisconsin Death Trip album. Then, piece by piece, Static X fell apart until it was a glorified Wayne Static solo project.

Then something strange happened. Wayne Static died of an overdose, then the other 3 original members of Static X got the band back together with the lead singer of Dope wearing a Wayne Static Death Mask fronting the group.

I shit you not.

I was 100% against the reunion until I heard what it sounded like. My ears heard the year 2000. So I would have been interested in hearing the reunited Static X, strictly as a novelty.

2. Marilyn Manson

What year would I have WANTED to see them? 2000

Would I want to see them today? Not Really.

Back in the year 2000, it was one of the last times I could name every member of the band. They were all living Rock Star lives of decadence and drugs. Seeing them 25 years ago would have captured when the band was still dangerous. Today? It's Brian Warner and a bunch of studio musicians.

You say Brian Warner should be cancelled? I'll say it again, if you didn't tread lightly around the guy who called himself the AntiChrist Superstar, that's more on you than him. He was who he said he was.

1. Tool

What year would I have WANTED to see them? (Again) 2001

Would I want to see them today? I have a complicated relationship with a complicated band.

I saw the band just a few days after 9/11 and wanted to go back and watch the band again a few days later. I cannot describe how good they sounded. But despite keeping all their own original members, they only found the time to record 2 more albums in the next 25 years.

If the Sonic Temple performance is going to be a cross section of hits, I would have wanted to see that. If they are playing the bloated and meandering Fear Inoculum in its entirety, I would have passed.