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  • Writer's pictureFred

Sorry, David Crosby Ain't Goin' to Heaven Either

Back in 2018, I was in a particularly surly mood-

(What part of 2018? I said 2018.)

I was kind of stunned at the coverage of Aaron Hernandez's Suicide. Almost every article included this excerpt from his suicide note: Love, Repent...See you in Heaven, but no website called Hernandez out for his absurd statement. Most websites noted he was a convicted murderer....AND here's his NFL Highlights.

Because Hernandez was a bad, bad boy, I was very lucky not to get much push back on my article.

Welp, it's time to roll that dice again.

So this is a tweet from David Crosby the day before his death: In reference to heaven (straight from FoxNews,) "'I heard the place is overrated….cloudy," his tweet read in response to a screenshot of a Google search that asked, "can we go to heaven with tattoos?'"

Oh don't worry, David Crosby, you ain't goin' to heaven either. His tweet seemed to lament that possibility.

Why so callous this time around? David Crosby never murdered anyone.

Listen, as a rule of thumb, how many rockers do you think are going to heaven? David Crosby's only real life skill was harmonizing in a poignant fashion. That doesn't make you a good person. The reason David Crosby isn't worried about clouds today.

Exhibit I: 1985

What part of 1985? I said 1985.

There was the prison term, the hit and run accident, the heroin and cocaine possession, the drunk driving violation, and the weapons violation. All in 1 year.

Exhibit II: Drugs

"By 1976 Crosby had developed a perforated septum from snorting coke for nearly a decade straight. To get around that, he began freebasing the cocaine with ether, also known as crack, smoking as much as an ounce per day. Throughout the 70’s and into the 80’s, Crosby became less famous for his music and more known for his wild lifestyle. The rockstar began injecting heroin and continuing to smoke crack while having run-ins with the law." - Stories of Recovery

Exhibit III; The Liver Transplant

Magically, David Crosby got a liver transplant. How do I figure it was magical? David Crosby's lifestyle should have disqualified him from the transplant list. Young David Crosby would have pointed out Old David Crosby's Rich Privilege.

Exhibit IV: Terrible Taste in Music

David Crosby was supposedly all about the music. But if you look at his essential albums, he was stuck in the 60's and 70's. He had a disdain of where music evolved to as early as the mid 70's. He never evolved away from the folksy harmonies of the 60's. Why is Crosby so beloved? Because he sang "4 dead in O-hi-o." That was over 50 years ago, which is where many dying Boomers' heads are stuck.

Exhibit V: The Baby Daddy

Though only married once, Crosby had 4 kids from 4 different women. And that doesn't include being the sperm donor for Melissa Etheridge's kids-

"You're no angel either, Fred Hunt."

Listen, I don't claim to be. All I am saying is that the mainstream media continues to glorify rock musicians that are, for the most part, terrible human beings. Maybe media eulogies should be a little more accurate.

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