• Fred & Ted

Smokin' Aces


10 years ago this month the movie Smokin' Aces came out on DVD. A glorious mess of a movie, it's greatest sin was being too ambitious...

Apparently Ryan Reynolds doesn't age

For the uninitiated, Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liotta played 2 federal agents sent to protect Jeremy Pivens' "Aces" Israel character. Israel has had a million dollar bounty placed on his head and all types of degenerate lowlifes close in to collect the reward. But of course things aren't that simple...

The entire reason for this article is because if you asked me: What was the best action movie of the past 10 years? Without missing a beat I would've say Smokin' Aces. I wouldn't have even had to think. Anyhow, I came across a bad review on the internet today for Smokin' Aces and I thought, "boy people just don't know what's a good movie anymore." Then I shot over to Rotten Tomatoes and was absolutely floored at how bad the movie was rated. 29% favorable reviews from critics, 62% from audiences.

Tremor Brothers, who should have had their own prequel.

Chris Pine was so perfectly cast as Darwin Tremor, I almost wept. Well, since I am obviously more enlightened than the general masses, I figured today would be a perfect day to share my cinematic tastes:

Best Movie of All-Time: Clerks (1994)

Best Comedy of All-Time: (besides Clerks) Groundhog Day (1993)

or It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963)

Best Drama of All-Time: Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Best Action Movie of All-TIme: Star Wars (1977)

or the Matrix (1999)

Best Horror Movie of All-Time: Evil Dead 2 (1987)

or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Best Documentary of All-Time: Roger and Me (1989)

Best Line from a Movie: "I want my $2."- Better Off Dead (1985)

The I Want My $2 Classic Remix

Best Comedy of the past 10 years: Black Dynamite (2009)

Best Drama of the past 10 years: Argo (2010)

Best Action Movie of the past 10 years: Smokin' Aces (2007)

Best Horror Movie of the past 10 years: N/A (After 2010's Devil, I am unable to watch horror movies. Devil wasn't that great, but it broke my ability to watch anything harder than PG horror. PG horror is like drinking decaf coffee.)

Best Documentary of the past 10 years: Winter on Fire: Ukraine's Fight for Freedom (2015)

Best Woody Allen Movie: None

Ted says: "Smokin' Aces, I'm not familiar that movie." Which made me taunt him, "well, what are YOUR favorite movies then.

Ted also says that new movies are overproduced hooey, so all of the movies listed below are his All-Time faves.

(I should note,) Ted asked "can I pick more than one?" I replied, "of course, it's our website." So he listed:

Best Comedies: Dumb and Dumber (1994)

Kingpin (1996)

Scrooged (1998)

Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (1987)

Best Dramas: Titanic (1997)

Castaway (2000)

Best Action: Lethal Weapon (1987)

Rambo - First Blood (1982)

Best Horror: It (Stephan King) (1990)

Best Documentary: It Might Get Loud (2008)

Best Woody Allen Movie: Take the Money and Run (1969)

Best Line from Said Movie: "The men were given one warm meal a day. A Bowl of Steam."

The line you're waiting for is at the 7:00 minute mark of this clip.

Surprisingly, for the difference in our tastes, I thought it was strange that the 2 of us picked 3 separate Bill Murray vehicles.


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