The Coke Freestyle Machine and the Decline of American Excellence - Part II
- Fred
- Jun 15
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 16
Editor's Note: Man, there are articles I NEVER thought I'd return to. This one was at the top of the list: The Coke Freestyle Machine and the Decline of American Excellence
Today is Father's Day and all I really wanted for lunch was Mr. Hero. Go ahead and shoot that trans fat directly into my veins.
But when I went to Mr. Hero, they were closed. They changed their hours so now they don't open until 11:30. Since it was 11:00, I wasn't waiting half an hour, so I drove across the street to Wendy's. And that's where our story begins.
There was one car in the drive thru and one person inside Wendy's. Their Coke Freestyle Machine is often partially broke, so I went inside so I could pick whatever juice was available. I didn't feel like debating the kid at the drive thru about my drink options. My number one preference this morning was Minute Maid Cherry Limeade.
As I ordered a simple # 1 Dave's Single with a Drink, the girl at the register rested her head on her arm while I ordered. I kind of looked at her like "really?"
After the transaction was complete, I walked to the aforementioned Coke Machine. No Minute Maid at all. No Lemonade. No Hi-C. Every single juice option was out. I really didn't want a soda, but I tried Dave's Cream Soda. Yuck!
As I sipped the Cream Soda, the screen went back into sleep mode. An add come up "over 100 drink options." I talked back to the machine and said, out loud, "not today" and dumped the creme soda back out. My choices were Coke, Dr. Pepper, Diet Drinks, or Water. I'm not paying $2.50 for a water, so I settled for a simple Coke. I basically had about 17 out of 100+ options.
Apparently my behavior piqued the curiosity of the manager as he peaked at me from around the counter. The manager was wearing a wrinkled dress shirt with the top 3 buttons unbuttoned. He was a dead ringer for Harry Ellis from Die Hard.
For those unfamiliar, here's a screen shot.
I almost said "what are you looking at? Go make my hamburger."
All of a sudden it hit me, why am I so mad? I was just going to wait quietly with some screen time, so I had reached into my pocket and....dammit, I forgot my phone at home.
Apparently, like many Americans, I use my phone as a pacifier. Instead of simply standing, I began to pace back and forth from the counter to the Coke Machine. At the 10 minute mark, I was legit angry. A woman and her child came in and I almost asked the kid at the register for a refund.
I mean, there's no one here. A # 1 Combo should take 3 minutes, tops. I looked at my receipt over and over at the time. What the hell is taking so long. The madder I got, the more I wondered, "what is wrong with me?"
The fifth time I looked at the receipt I said to myself "this is literally double of what a # 1 Combo cost 5 years ago. Why did I come to Wendy's? This was neither fast, nor cheap." I could have gone to a regular restaurant and got better food for the same exact price.
The kid at the register walked away and picked up my food from the end of food prep table. When I received my food, I did some quick math and my wait was 14.5 minutes....
....
....
When I got home, my wife said, "I thought you just went to Mr. Hero, what took you so long?"
A lifetime ago I used to manage a Taco Bell. Before I was the manager, I was that teenage worker at the counter.
In the 1980's, I remember my manager screaming at me "I can't wait until you kids are replaced by robots."
So this week when I read that AI was replacing all our jobs, I wanted to argue with the Drudge Report. No, AI is going to replace all the GOOD JOBS. The jobs that pay well or create job satisfaction will be gone. Fast food worker at the corner restaurant will still be there. I welcome AI taking all the fast food jobs. Then the food will be cheaper and the restaurants will be run better.
Ah, the circle of life.
You know what else I hate? Disney music.
Let me end the article my way, since it's Father's Day.....
Ah, the circle of life.
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