Taco Bell is Declaring War on McDonald's...Again
- Fred
- Jul 20
- 4 min read
Back when I was in college, I worked at our local Taco Bell. Once, there was a mandatory meeting at 8:00 AM in the morning, and if you didn't show up, you were terminated.
The entire crew showed up for the meeting and I slipped in at the last second. I had closed the night before and didn't get home until after 2:00 AM. As soon as I walked in the door, I got a short lecture about tardiness.
So, right from the rip, I have to state that I was already very surly that day.
Our manager, Glenn Robertson, started the meeting by reading from a script. It basically said we were at war with high prices and, specifically, McDonald's. We were also going to roll out a value menu. He then handed out $5 bandanas and said we were going to fight McDonald's in the fast food trenches.
I was in no mood for allegorical war. I chirped up, "unless we can bomb McDonald's, this meeting is over" as I started to move toward the door.
"You can't leave. We're all soldiers in the same foxhole-"
I was so mad. I was ready to bomb McDonald's, fight my commanding officer Glenn, and light my own war burrito trench on fire.
All I wanted to do was sleep. (Which was a recurring theme in my youth).
If I wanted to join the army, I would have done so. It wasn't like I was out partying the night before, I was at Taco Bell, trying to pay for school.
So imagine my surprise when I read this at Parade this week:
Taco Bell Is Coming For McDonald's
Uggh, not this again. Every 5-10 years, Taco Bell declares "war" on McDonald's and it catches the frayed ends of the news cycle.
Because AI will eventually take over the internet anyways, I asked them their opinion of Taco Bell declaring war on McDonalds:"Taco Bell is currently engaged in another round of playful competition with McDonald's, primarily focused on their crispy chicken offerings and value menus. Taco Bell is highlighting its Crispy Chicken Tacos and Burritos, launched in June, in response to McDonald's bringing back their Snack Wraps. Additionally, Taco Bell is testing a new Luxe Value Menu with items priced at $2.99 at select locations and launching a Sweet Chipotle Barbecue Sauce nationwide, all while continuing to push its value strategy."
You know what? Just like the morning of the "free bandanas," I already don't care. And I'm more or less coherent.
Technically, in Brunswick, Ohio at least, the fast food wars have turned into a winnerless stalemate, there are 2 Taco Bells and 2 McDonald's within the city limits. The Taco Bell where I used to work was bulldozed into the ground over a decade ago, leaving an abandoned urban space. (Red Star).
Why do I still have a bad attitude, a generation later?
On the same day as the Parade article, this was at Yahoo!:
This South Carolina mom of 3 was left to run entire Burger King by herself for 12+ hours.
Now did that ever happen to me at Taco Bell? Thankfully no. How many times did I have to close by myself in my Taco Bell career? At least 50 times. Longest time I was alone? In Brook Park, from 8 PM until I finished closing at 1 AM. Nobody cares now like nobody cared then.
Top 10 Worst Restaurant Chains In Ohio When it Comes to Service
10. Taco Bell: The nicest compliment you could get from a health inspector is if he orders lunch after the inspection. Once, back in the day, after getting a 100% grade, I told the health inspector that we really had a bad overnight, luckily he came in the middle of the day, He said, "If we did health inspections at midnight, no restaurant in this state would pass." There's a reason most restaurants close by 10 PM. You ever notice how many times the drive-thru line is backed up to the street once the sun goes down?
9. McDonald's: Same premise as Taco Bell. Getting a value meal at 1 in the afternoon is super quick. Try getting a large order during off hours after dinner when the drive thru line is around the building.
8. Wendy's: This makes me so sad, our Wendy's used to be so nice.
7. Rally's: Everyone I talk to says the same thing: "You still go to Rally's?"
6. Steak and Shake: Man, since the pandemic, their service just went in the crapper.
5. Long John Silver's: I have never had terrible service at LJS's, but every time I go there the crew has the look of despair, like they're working the deep fat friers in Kazakhstan in the 1980's.
4. Mr. Hero: If you are alone in a Mr. Hero, expect good service. 2+ people at a Mr. Hero? Prepare for a half an hour wait.
3. KFC: Great chicken, terrible service.
2. Burger King: Burger King used to compete with McDonald's a generation ago. Now they compete with themselves just to stay open. Their service is terrible from open to close.
1. Popeyes: Every single time I have eaten at Popeyes, there has nearly been a fight getting our order. That's not just me. Again, back to the magic of AI: "Fights at Popeyes, particularly around the time of the chicken sandwich's initial release, were often sparked by long lines, limited availability, and intense competition for the popular menu item. Some reports suggest the demand for the sandwich overwhelmed supply, leading to frustration and sometimes violence."
We're going to plug a neighboring business here. Not far from my home, there's a locally owned restaurant that's very active on social media called Between the Bun.
For $12, you can get an excellent, mouth watering burger and pub chips. Across the street is the local McDonald's. and for $11 you can get an average hamburger, the quarter-pounder, excellent fries (if they make them right), and a Coke.
About a year ago, the owner of Between the Bun lamented "the local restaurant provides bad service once and you swear you'll never go back. The restaurant chain in your neighborhood provides bad service and you go back the next day."
That question often haunts me.
When was the last time I got bad service at McDonald's?
Last week.
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